Gabourey Sidibe on Her Years-Long Journey to Body-Positivity: I Was ‘Conditioned to Consider That I Was Awful’

After years of being intimidated by her look and fighting to slim down naturally, gabourey sidibe weight loss 2017 got laparoscopic bariatric surgery last May, as she shows in her first memoir — This Is Only My Face — excerpted only in the brand new problem of PEOPLE.

INDIVIDUALS caught up with the Oscar-nominated star, 33, who opened up about her choice to go under the knife after she and her brother Ahmed, 34, were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.


How did you choose to get weight-loss surgery?

I only didn’t like to stress. I didn’t like to worry about all of the effects that go along with diabetes. I truly [would] constantly worry about losing my toes.

What angers me about what folks say about my body is because they presume that they care about my health more than I do. Which is hopeless. You don’t care. You simply care that you’ve got a voice, and you also believe your voice gets to say something about me. However, I care more than anybody understands. Of course, I care. It’s been my body my entire life, and I didn’t need to be scared anymore. And I’ve been feeling like that for some time.

Why now?

I took quite a while to do [the operation] because I was attempting [to lose weight]. I outlived my first trainer! He died of cancer. He was so wonderful. I lost a whole lot of weight with him, and then I didn’t; I actually, honestly attempted — I gave a valiant effort. So I’m happy that I eventually understood the operation wasn’t the simple way out. I wasn’t cheating on by getting it done. Didn’t have been able to lose as much as I’ve lost without [the operation]. I spent years attempting to lose this much weight, and I didn’t do it. I wish I’d done it earlier.

I was away between March and July, and I went in, and I had the operation a month and two days following the very first assembly. It was just about time. It lined up for me.


How has life changed since you got the process?

I still obsess about eating, and I obsess about weight, and I obsess about my body just as much as I did before. I only trust more. Although I obsess about all, and I’m frightened, and I’m troubled I’m talking about it — it terrifies me. I still am remembering to have faith over fear because my judgment is my conclusion, plus it only affects me.

For some time I’d get on the scale five to six times a day since your weight changes through the entire day; simply because I’m fanatical about it. Afterward I only, I only figured out how to not do that anymore, the best way to weigh myself once every fourteen days or whatever.